its so sad how much time you spend in my head. but at the same time - the distraction is compelling. my stomach ties up in knots when i talk about you and i cant look anybody in the eye. i feel like a school girl again, and right now that is all i wanna be.
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i guess i lost a part of myself when it was over. that sad realisition that maybe true love doesnt conquer all. my childish fantasy and sparkle lost. i almost feel like a completely different person. that person was who i am. it is me. but now that its over what am i supposed to be. because somehow i am still truly a romantic at heart. true love will and can conquer all.
i just need the time to make myself new again. i need to find who i actually am and what i am made of. these last two months have been exactly what i needed. a new city by myself. walking down the streets alone and knowing no one. moving into a brand new place with people who know nothing about me. starting a new job way out of my comfort zone. basically starting anew but trying to be the person i want to be. and im glad that i like the parts of me left over. there is enough to pick up and put back together.
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today has been such bullshit. i knew straight away that it was going to be a shitty day.
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